Always Looking Ahead

I’m not sure what the age is when you become fixated on thinking about “what’s next?”. But if you aren’t working at a stable job that you thoroughly enjoy or in school going after the job you have dreamed of, then it seems that you have to wonder what is next for you.

The first semester of my senior year at the University of Houston I started admitting to myself that I really had no idea what I wanted to do once I graduated. HOWEVER, I did know I didn’t want to go get my masters yet or start another few years of school. And I didn’t want a desk job (not that my major really prepared me for a desk job). I was working as a pharmacy technician and I was happy at work, but I knew I wanted to travel. I casually mentioned to friends and family that I wanted to go teach English abroad... I don’t really recall the reactions from everyone. I do remember my dad being happy it was Spain that I chose, after initially saying Thailand and than just joining the peace corps.

Spain - It became a real thing when I was sitting home in Houston one night, drinking wine and decided quickly to apply to a program. After hearing back, I gave a more sure response to the dreaded question, “what are you doing once you graduate?” But I still wasn’t confident about my answer, I honestly wasn’t confident until I arrived in Valencia and met my first host family. That’s when I knew I was doing the right thing.

But almost two months in and I have to start thinking of what’s after. To be honest, I normally avoid this topic. I’d prefer living day by day and figuring it out as it comes, but when I am being honest with myself I know I am really not that good at “winging it”. SO I made a pact with the 2 other girls in my program to figure out what we’d all be doing after this ended and we set a date.

The date was sent due to most of our future ideas having their own deadlines. Schools have deadlines for applications, teaching programs have deadlines, jobs get taken, if you plan on moving somewhere you need to look for apartments, so we set a deadline that seemed reasonable for all those options. Having all these options is overwhelming and exciting and terrifying and consuming. Maybe I am indecisive, but I like just doing things almost on a whim and then praying all of it works out!! However, I started just writing any idea that I have had recently. And let me tell you, they are all over the place both geographically and theoretically.

After allowing it to keep me up for a large portion of the night, I frantically texted my dad how I was trying to "figure out the future." My dad, being the amazing human he is, responded with exactly what i needed, "all you have to figure out is how to enjoy today".

AND HE IS RIGHT. Tomorrow will come and my future will come and no matter how I try and plan it, God has His own plan. I understand it is always better to have a plan and I will make one, but worrying will bring nothing positive into this situation. Worrying can only take away from what I have now. So for now, I will find the good in today and in this week. I will be excited about what I am doing now and how I got myself into this opportunity. I will continue looking into what excites me and what will bring joy and continue asking for guidance.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34