A chance for change

Parliament, Budapest, Hungary

Being alone in a foreign country has given me the time to question and challenge myself in ways I haven't before. I have the chance to really test myself and also ask questions that make you think about your past, present and future. I struggle with figuring out my next step and there's so many opportunities that I've started to sort into 3 categories 1. I think I'm supposed to do, 2. I think I want to do, 3. I want to want to do. 

One thing I've really learned is how impressionable I am, I'm like a child in this sense or just really a "go with the flow" personality. Looking back I never challenged myself to form my own opinions about a lot of topics, politics for example. I have been ignorant or naive about truly understanding the different platforms with candidates and just pushed it aside with, "I don't know politics so I stay out of it". I have been pretty naive with what is happening in the world and what has happened in the past. 

One of my resolutions is to become more informed and continue to stay informed about politics, history, other cultures, and the worldly news. 

Being impressionable makes life easy when you are with strong individuals. But once I was alone, I had to think about what made me actually happy, what I thought of certain topics, and who I was and my ambitions and goals in life. The past 2 months, I have had 3 questions or lists in my head that have come from podcasts, blogs, and old journal entries. 

1. A list of 50 things that make you feel alive. 
2. Your life goal in 5 sentences. 
3. A bucket list of top 10 items. 

Being alone and traveling gives you so many chances to learn more about the world and meet new people who are like-minded. It creates conversations and you are told their stories of adventures, risk, and change. It is such a good reminder to know others are wandering still and from all different parts of life. I love meeting people who also broke away from the routine of life. They challenge you and inspire you to jump for that adventure or that opportunity. 

Routine. It terrifies me, which is strange because I have been doing routines all my life. High school was school then practice then friends then all over again and again. College was school then friends then work then friends. I feel like I finally broke from all my routines after graduating when I was able to explore.

Taking a step away from my routine, I’ve had the opportunity to learn what brings me pure joy, what can keep the fire in me lit for days. The best part is that these things aren’t difficult to achieve. For me, being vulnerable means to be open to all things new and different. They most likely end in something embarrassing and me laughing awkwardly to myself. It allows you to learn something about others or yourself. These memories keep me going. I feed off of positivity and of sunny, chilly days and people that are brutally honest and still positive and sincere. I feed off kids running to me and pulling me into hugs and mostly off of genuine big laughs. I am drawn to it, especially when it is uncontrollable and unstoppable. I look forward to the awkwardness that comes with traveling alone and the conversation that comes with traveling with someone familiar to an unfamiliar place.

So for now, I'm going to continue digging, continue seeing new parts of the world and learning more about its history, and continue figuring out who I am when I'm not surrounded by everyone I love who seems to know who they are. 

Budapest was an amazing vacation, I say vacation but it wasn't just a trip. I had time to explore and sightsee and also rest. Normally a trip involves me sprinting from different attractions and rushing through a city, but this time I was able to enjoy and take it all in. Definitely a must see city!!!

Now in Prague for my first country of the new year, Happy New Years!!!